I was rooting for the fugitive, and I was disappointed when he turned out to be a pathetic schmuck. He started off so well. He was clever and brilliant, disarming two guards and escaping captivity while on his way to the court house to stand trial for robbing banks. He took their clothes and their guns and the car. He hijacked a civilian's car in the parking lot of a grocery store, ditched the car in the next town over and managed to elude the SWAT team that had taken chase. By the time night fell ten hours later, I thought for sure that he was gone. Surely, he'd be halfway to Mexico, or Canada, or even the Jersey shore. Imagine my disappointment when, the next morning, it was reported that he'd hijacked another car no more than five miles away from where he'd taken the first car. And then, even though he'd hijacked the car in a spot right by the highway- I mean, seriously, there was an exit ramp RIGHT THERE- he went ahead and robbed another bank only ten miles away. Another hour or so, and he was apprehended about four or five miles away from the bank. While everyone in the suburbs breathed a collective sigh of relief- the schools and offices were allowed off lockdown, the banks reopened their doors, and women at grocery stores could once again walk to their car with the familiar old carelessness us suburbanites are used to- I felt like I had just watched the worst movie I'd ever seen. He was supposed to foil the cops. He was supposed to escape to another country, to another state, or at least another fucking ten mile radius. Instead, I invested all this time into watching the news reports, reading the online updates, and saying glib things like, "They're wasting their time, he's long gone" when presented with the facts that the same old cops in the same old three or four towns were all on high alert. Instead, the clever villain in my backwards hero tale turned out to be a retarded fucking idiot who, while displaying so much promise in the wee early hours of the game, quickly lost his senses and couldn't even figure out how to leave the state. Despite having guns and cars. Despite being the most average looking white man you'd ever seen, the kind of man you wouldn't look at twice even if you were looking specifially for him. Despite having escaped in the kinds of suburbs that are just riddled with major highways. And back roads and front roads and side roads. What a waste of my time. What a let down.