i am standing in the hallway of the second floor of our apartment building just outside of #202. this is the apartment directly above us, and i cannot take it for another minute. i am full of rage, but i am also afraid. i avoid confrontation; avoiding confrontation is my second favorite hobby. the noise has become unbearable, though, and our lawyer's not moving quickly enough to get us out of the lease. i have to sleep. i ring the bell.

there is the sound of foreign chatter, and then the door swings open. i gasp for breath. the apartment lays before me like the forgotten storage garage for some long dead family. the place is packed full of stuff, and there are two things i notice at once. a giant baby's crib takes up the entire center of the living room, and the couch has been made up like a bed. there are at least four people living in this one bedroom apartment- two adults in the bedroom, one on the couch, and then the baby in the crib, the construction of which would explain why i've been hearing so much hammering.

despite my hatred for these noise-makers, these floorboard-squeakers, these foot-pounding-walkers, i instantly become sweet and apologetic. i introduce myself as jackie, the girl who lives below. i extend my hand for a shake, but then have to retract it when the man at the door looks disdainfully at it. i politely explain that i think the apartments have been poorly constructed, that i hear every move that they make, that i haven't had a full nights sleep in weeks. the man says he'll take care of it, and i look over at the rest of the family wedged in between their furniture. they look away. i thank him profusely for listening and understanding and then head downstairs.

the noise does not stop that night until close to midnight. i lay in bed praying that any moment they will all go asleep. i eventually drift into a restless sleep and then am suddenly jerked awake at 3:30 am by an amplified sound from above, from the crash of a body throwing itself straight to the floor, from the tumbling over of what sounds like that gigantic crib, from two overweight individuals having a jumping contest. it is 3:30. they're awake. i'm awake. i burst into tears.

i want to kill them. i want to kill myself. i try to sleep on the couch, but the couch sleeper above is also awake, walking around the maze of furniture, banging into walls, knocking over chairs. what else can i do? i've talked to the landlord. i've talked to a lawyer. i've talked to the offenders. i just want out. please, lord, please, just help me sleep at night.