pancetta. if you had to guess what it was, what would that guess be?

see, i assumed it was a cheese, like some kind of pan-fried cheese, possible a pan-chedda. pan-cheddar. see how i came to that conclusion? actually, it is a kind of bacon. let me tell you how i feel about bacon and other 'breakfast meats' such as sausage. i hate them. i despise them. i feel that they compromise the integrity of the egg and cheese croissant, or the egg and cheese bagel. you have a good thing, why mess with it? why insert a greasy, fatty slab of miscellaneous pork products into it? damn it to hell.

now, i am not a vegetarian by any means. how i love a medium-rare steak, a big burger slathered in swiss cheese and mushrooms, a fried chicken leg, a faceful of cocktail shrimp. it's just something about the bacon and the sausage that makes me want to stick my head into the next available bucket and ralph until my very intestines come flying out.

salami's alright.

anyhow, i ordered a salad with pancetta. my lunch companions asked, "what's panetta?" and i blithely answered, "oh, a kind of pan friend cheddar." they did not question me. we all hate bacon, and then our salads are delivered, lousy with bacon. it was all we could do not to cry.

hey, but, you know, it wasn't that big a deal.