by far, this is my favorite news story of the week.

i love virgin mary sightings, especially this one here, which occurred in a coffee stain. apparitions of the virgin mary are relatively common, as it turns out. my question is: what if it's not the virgin mary? what if all these sightings and visions are of some other peaceful-looking, robe-wearing lady? not the virgin mary, but, say the virgin rhoda or a different mary, like that one mary with the little lamb, whose fleece was white as snow.

speaking of snow, it's coming down over here. i'm surprised my mother hasn't called yet; more so when i was living at home, she would call me at the first sight of the powdery flakes, warning, "it's snowing out there. do you have a brush to clean off your car windows? how are your tires? drive slow, drive slow!" after i'd hang up on her, she'd call again, reminding, "take those turns carefully!" i'd hang up again. then, later, i'd get in my car and try to remember what she had told me. since i'm a moron, i'd pull out of my parking space without brushing off my windows and then, after speeding up, crash into the nearest tree.

or, at least that's what my mother would assume i'd do.

and now i'm going to go search for the virgin mary in a doughnut.