"you're giving out gifts?"

"um, yes."

"i have a lot of money at this bank. can i get a gift?"

"sure... you just need to take some of that money and open a new account."

"i don't want to open a new account. i just want the gift."

"sure, we can give you a gift. you just need to refer somebody. they open an account, they get a gift, and then we send you this coupon for..."

"this is ridiculous. i have, like, five hundred dollars here and you can't give me a gift?"

"i'm sorry, those are the rules. this promotion just started."

"i want a gift. and i ain't leaving until i get one."

"how about a lollipop instead?"

"you people are awful."

"listen, lady, it's not even that nice of a gift."

"i told you, i ain't leaving."