i'm sick, and when i get sick, everybody has to know it. some people collect bottle caps or dolls or things related to walruses, but me? i collect pity. i want people to fuss over me, to "oh dear" me while i lay coma-like on the sofa, or sit coma-like in my chair, amid a pile of soggy tissues and empty cough drop bags.

i watched the debate last night. there's 90 minutes of my life i'm not getting back. bush looked so aggravated whenever kerry spoke, shaking his head and scowling. this is probably why the campaign managers demanded that the opposing candidate not be shown while the first candidate was answering a question. a *thirty-two page* list of rules! what a job, to be able to write out those rules! "the phrase 'butt-munch' may only be used once in a twenty minute period." how come i never get consulted for the interesting stuff?

after today, i finally understand the agony of being a cubs fan.