as some of you may know, i have a nasty habit.

well, i have a couple of nasty habits, but i'm talking about one nasty habit in particular. i'd like to blame chris for this nasty habit- before meeting him, i was just the kind of smoker who enjoyed a cigarette with a cosmo on saturday night. or friday night, or tuesday morning- whenever, you know, i was having said cosmo. he was a casual smoker, as well. then, somehow, together we became not-so-casual smokers. cigarette after every meal. cigarette with morning coffee. in a car? the window's rolled down, no matter how cold, and a cigarette is being puffed at. one cosmo is no longer equal to one cigarette, it's equal to *five.* and, being a working girl and all, there's no better excuse for having to step outside than that need for tobacco.

i've made a decision. no more.

i want to keep my five dollars per pack. i don't want to smell like smoke. i want to start breathing again. hell, maybe next i'll report that i've become a gymnast or something. you don't hear about gymnasts that smoke.

i'm only on my second day, and it's already tough. so we'll see where i go with this. i may have to steer clear of the cosmos for a few weeks.... and coffee.... and meals... and driving... and working... and, shit, how did it become this bad?

my lungs hurt from not smoking. isn't that funny?