dan came over on sunday, so we fed him, pumped him full of booze, and forced him to play a game of scrabble. this is what we do to guests.

i never see any of my friends anymore. this is both good and bad. bad because, you know, i don't get to see them, and good because there's always a lot to catch up on when we finally do hang out. no more awkward silences! no more, "so... wanna hear about my eczema?"

sunday we went over to my adopted uncle's house. this man, vic, is my local karaoke dj, and i've taken to referring to him as 'uncle' vic because i am constantly trying to fill voids in my life by recruiting semi-strangers as relatives. he's not exactly a semi-stranger- we've known each other a year and a half now, and used to work together- but he's certainly not a relative.

ah, who am i kidding about that void? i call him "uncle," because i'm hoping he'll include me on his christmas shopping list. i want baby poops-a-lot, and i'll go to any means to attain her.

i'm at work wearing a cheap, silver colored bracelet from a 25 cent toy machine. it says "player" on it, and it will probably turn my wrists green and cause my hands to crack off from decay. i give the whole process 20 minutes.