there comes a time in every young girl's life when she is forced to accept that she is a shitty photographer.

okay, not every young girl is as horrid a photographer as i, but i must feel like i am not alone in this. i might as well have kept the cap on the lens while snapping my photos, except that disposable cameras don't come with caps. maybe that's my problem.

the photographs from this weekend should be used as a teaching aid in a series of lectures given to retards on basic camera skills. topics discussed would include: (1) when to turn on the flash, asshole, (2) how not to have big, immobile objects blocking your subject, (3) how it's important to have a subject, any subject, other than part of a tree and an expanse of grey sky, and (4) why it's a bad idea to stand about four miles away from said subject. jackass.

flipping through my snapshots, i decided that i would add "photography" as one of my skills to one day consider boning up on. this is a list that also includes cloning a milkshake, capturing a mermaid as to one up those lously pirates, and also mastering interstellar travel. needless to say, it ain't going to get done. unless i become a fantastic photographer by sheer chance, i may have to dedicate myself to a life of purchasing postcards. which reminds me of a funny story about my mother.