i'm reading Lies My Teacher Told Me : Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong. i don't usually enjoy reading nonfiction, but here i am, devouring each and every page as if the book were made of cheesecake instead of paper. i'm halfway through the book, but the first chapter is really what's sticking out in my mind. they talk about helen keller.

now, i went to helen keller elementary school, and the helen keller movie (shot in black and white with anne sullivan looking like a nervous breakdown was just one scene away) was required viewing. the first word poor helen learned to sign was water. w-a-t-e-r. soon after that, she was signing away whole paragraphs, using words such as ramification and ideology. that helen learned quickly, and she was someone we could all look up to. then she turned 12, and the movie ended.

what they don't teach you in school, and which i never learned until now, is that helen keller was a communist. she even hung a red flag above her desk. what i do want to know is how helen knew the flag was red.

i have nothing against communism. i did have a run in with some self-proclaimed communists a few years ago who thought that i was the scum of the earth for majoring in marketing, but that's as close as i ever came to having any kind of communist discussion. as a side note, they were half right about me being the scum of the earth, but not because i majored in the art of sales. i'm thinking more along the lines of the poor and tattered condition of my favorite bra, which i refuse to part with due to it's comfort rating- a well deserved 9.8.

anyhow, i'm intrigued by this side of helen that i was never exposed to in the aforementioned movie. discussing this with the cheese, the helen jokes began to flow like watered down ketchup onto the hot dog that was our evening. chris was brutal in his disparagement, and i told him that he was going to hell.

"well i guess i'll see helen keller there."

"helen keller's not in hell!"

"yeah she is. she's a communist!"

ah, but we kid. anyhow, this book is great, and everyone should read it. it'll give us something to talk about at parties.