Jun 9, 2004

the ad:

we are looking for a highly motivated, creative individual to spearhead a marketing campaign for a fortune 500 company.

the recruiter:

wanna sell sox tickets?

it's tiring being jackie. i'm supposed to get promoted in one month. do i want the promotion? should i keep looking for other jobs? if i get another job that advertises itself as a career opportunity as a leader in some grand financial company, will i end up telemarketing spoons? will i be going door to door selling coupon books?

i discussed my career follies with friends yesterday. they said, 'you should be a stand-up comic.' we all had a good laugh over that. but maybe that's what i should do. work on my material. get in line for next season's "last comic standing." i'm not the funniest person out there, but, yes, i am one of the funniest people out there. especially because i steal other people's jokes.

i will be a writer one of these days. not any day soon, but perhaps by thursday of next week, time and tv schedules permitting. however, what's going to pay my bills? retail management at an eyeglass joint? perhaps. cold-calling people in an effort to sell batteries? doubtful.

warning to those of you wanting to major in marketing communications. run now. run to your local graphics design department, or english class, or accounting school. maybe start driving trucks for a living. take a culinary class at the community college and apply at applebee's. do anything else. be a butcher, a baker, a candlestick maker.

i've seen the future, and the future's seen me. now we're just trying to decide where to lay down.

No comments: