we're moving tomorrow. we're putting all of our stuff into boxes and then taking all of our stuff out of boxes. we're pulling drawers out of dressers only to put them back into dressers. we're taking food out of one freezer and putting it into another. this seems really silly to me; when are they going to perfect teletransportation?

i get stressed easily. it's in my genes, like my unheard of metabolism and penchant for steely dan albums. i lay awake last night thinking, "how am i going to move my jar of pennies without losing a few pennies or breaking the whole jar? what if my hand falls off while i'm carrying something heavy? what t-shirt should i wear?" i started breathing erratically. my heart banged like a toyota speeding through a series of gongs. i grew upset about the prospect of buying a microwave. i wondered how i would survive for four days without cable or the internet. i thought, what if i forget my alarm clock and then have to buy a rooster or something?

nighttime is not my most sensible time.

today i'm going to most likely get a promotion. this would be a sizely promotion, taking me from a decent hourly wage to a hefty salary. they don't just hand out these salaries like condoms at a health fair, though. they expect you to take on more responsibility. they expect you to produce certain numbers and goals, shitting these accomplishments out as if you've just had a combination platter of coffee, bran, and ex-lax. oh, my. with all these new expectations, will i get any sleep at all?

so we've got the moving that i'm stressed about, my job, and last, but certainly not least, my mother. she's having a biopsy today, surgery on her boobs. there's a chance it's breast cancer, the doctors say, and my mother is scared witless. on the phone, she talked like she was already gone. "i know you and i have never been close, but..."

but what? you'll be fine. you'll have to be. i couldn't handle it if you weren't.

and that's all i can say about that.