things i've learned from christopher pike books:

how to figure out when you're dead.

how to spot vampires.

how to juggle both a full-time serial killer job while still being a full-time high school student.

your best friend probably wants to kill you, while utilizing a very elaborate plot. extraordinarily elaborate especially when you realize that she's only a high school student.

when something's written in italics, you'd better believe it's a major clue as to what the hell's happening.

just because you're out there chasing demons and killers doesn't mean that you can't have a very fulfilling love life as well.

when you come back in time to warn yourself of future events, you're definitely not going to notice yourself.

guns are surprisingly easy for sixteen year olds to obtain.

residue from your past lives is even harder to get rid of than residue off that 30 year old, never cleaned shower curtain.

a vacation is never just a vacation. a vacation is just a prelude to a funeral or an arraignment.

they're not brother and sister after all. they're wolves taking the form of humans and they're also lovers.

if somebody eats ten big macs and drinks 4 gallons of milk in chapter six, the only way to kill them in chapter seven is with an exorcism.

aliens are usually helpful. and they're always smarter than us.

usually, we find out that the aliens are us, only fifty decades into the future. they've come back with a warning. are you listening or are you listening?

the seventeen year old girl is smarter than the chief of police, the captain of the space shuttle, and all the seasoned detectives in the tri-state area.

how to foil the bad guy by using only one piece of twine, a flashlight, and two milk duds. mix ingenuity and stir.

rest assured: before you foil him/ her, he/she will tell you exactly how he/she did it and why.

can't figure out who somebody really is? think anagram!

what to do when you come across a witch.

what to do when you come across a ghost. what to do when that ghost is yourself.

a lot of this could have been avoided if you just didn't sleep with my boyfriend.

nothing exciting occurs east of the mississippi.

isn't it funny how all this goes down only days before graduation?



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