you should read "the last man" graphic novel series. yes, you. it's funny, it's thought provoking, and one of the characters is a helper monkey. how many more reasons do you need?

plus, one of the lines is, "i've been eating so many canned peaches that i think i shat a cobbler." reading that sentence made me want to dance. the delight that filled me was too much to contain, and i nearly toppled over.

i'm tired of dreaming about high school. i do it too much, but it's never quite the high school that i remember. true, it's still roughly the same building, with roughly the same people, but last night, for instance, i was commuting from arlington heights to go to school in tinley park. i still didn't have my high school degree. i never do, and i'm always over 20.

what does the internet have to say about dreams like this?

Dreaming that you have to repeat high school, suggests that you are doubting your accomplishments and the goals that you have already completed. You feel that you may not be measuring up to the expectation of others. The dream may occur because some recent situation may have awakened old anxieties and insecurities.

great. but it's hard to doubt accomplishments when they're few and far between. also, i know i don't measure up to the expectations of others. i could be a better girlfriend, manager, writer, friend, daughter. but i'm not. this dream description mentions naught of being lazy.

Classic dream figures, drawn from the edge of our adolescent circle of friends, are likely to be symbols of aspects of our personality which we first became aware of when we projected them onto these same people back in high school. When these faces show up in our dreams, it means that these same aspects of our own character are resurfacing, and now wear the masks of these old acquaintances for purposes of recognition. Whatever we thought about those people when we knew them, is what we think about these emerging parts of our own psyche now.

i never dream of friends from high school, just people- mostly guys, ahem- that i barely knew. maybe i assigned characteristics to these people that i now have? that's odd, though- i've not once held a football.

there's something in me that fears the progress i've made since high school. i used to be shy and quiet and overly self-conscience. i didn't ever think life would be kind to me, or that anyone would see me as pretty or funny or smart; i was convinced that i'd grow into nothing and live with 400 cats and have to get money from the government since i'd have no possible way of supporting myself. i always saw myself in a floral dress with wild, grey hair and a face filled with so many wrinkles that if a drop of rain were to fall on my forehead, it would just spiral down for hours until it finally reached my neck. mind you, i imagined myself as only 30. now that i've become a person that i like, now that i know that i'm lovable and can do things i didn't think i could ever do (while still maintaining the element of lazy)- i don't think i entirely know how to deal. when will i ever know? these dreams do not occur just once in a while; they are almost serial, definitely recurring.

perhaps i've shared too much. blast it.