i didn't sleep last night. now i want to take a nap, but my mother always warned me: if i sleep now, i won't sleep later. this from a woman who sleeps all the time. now, where does she get off?

have you guys seen that pop-up ad for the marines? it basically says, "join the marines, and we'll give you an ipod." then you see two kids in capri pants dancing it up to the music that their ipods are presumably cranking out. what i want to see is these kids in uniform, overseas, scared shitless because an assload of suicide bombers are making their way up the street- in something turbo-powered. "where are your precious ipods now?" i'd shout at them. if you join the marines because of the free ipod, you're a goddamn idiot. although, i will admit, once i almost joined the army for a duffel bag. this was a duffel bag that could have fit ten, twelve heads of cabbage easy.

did you know that koalas often get chlamydia?

oh what to do,
oh, what to do.