the shirt i'm wearing to work today is one of those 1 piece shirts that looks like it's 2 pieces. it appears to be a vest with a white blouse underneath it, but really it's just a vest with bits of a white collared shirt sewn all around it. it's ri-goddamn-diculous. supposedly, this is the fashion right now. i don't even know why i bought it; i feel silly, like i'm trying to pull one over on the general public. i'm going to go to work today and just wait for somebody to announce, eyes narrowed, "you don't fool me. i know that's only one shirt, not two. who the hell wears a vest surrounded by half a blouse?" this is the point that i will start crying, blathering, "but it was on sale! and the mannequin looked so damn cute in it."

the mannequin, they will point out, also had bigger boobs. which doesn't have anything to do with the shirt, but, as a sidenote, i'd like for the fashion people to start using flatter mannequins, as to not cause me to drink. either that, or to still use the big breasted mannequins BUT add overly large, but realistic, pointy nipples. also, a little armpit hair.