i'm on page ten of my manifesto. if my calculations are correct, i should instead be on page forty-seven. my calculations are rarely correct, though. i once tried to calculate my age, subtracting 1980 from 2003, and came up with pi. i know for a fact that i am not pi years old. phi years old, though- that's a different possibility altogether.

chris has a fantastic beginning for a story. it really bugs me when he tries to show me up like this. the boy should stick to his own hobby- face painting, with a specialty in unicorns. also, he dabbles in bionic arm design. currently, he's got a really good "swiss army" idea- is it an arm, a bottle opener, a knife, or a toothpick? is it a poker, a jabber, a scraper, or a fan blade? oh, who can tell?!?!

my skin is disgustingly dry. damn this winter weather and the way it ravages the body. mother nature is going down. also, i've got a few bones to pick with father time, the muses, and papa smurf.