My cousin had her baby this week! She gave birth to an 8 pound something-ounce boy which she named Zacharias Joseph. I think "Zacharias" is a biblical name, or at least the original, unbastardized versions of Zachariah (which could also be biblical?) and, my favorite of the three, the greatly bastardized Zachary. Really, though, what do I know about all this, I don't read the bible and have yet to name something that's not a car. Anyway, she was in labor for twenty-four hours before she finally agreed to let them to do a c-section to extract the babe from where it had lodged itself in her cervix. I never thought I'd write a blog entry that involved my cousin's cervix. This has truly been a strange week.

Twenty-four hours of labor, though! Can you imagine? I sure can't. She kept pushing and pushing in a grand attempt to do the whole natural child-birth thing (no epidural, she said!), and then finally succombed to going under the knife when there was no other option other than to let the kid grow up- go to kindergarten, learn to drive, get married- from the tight embrace of her cervix. Here are the key differences between me and my cousin: I would never get to the point where twenty-four hours of labor had gone by before allowing my doctor to cut me open. After maybe fifteen, twenty minutes of unsuccessful pushing, I'd demand that they just get the kid out via c-section. I don't have the patience or groin muscles for that sort of thing. Furthermore, I'm planning on not only having an epidural but also having it well in advance of going into labor- like, two months-and then keep having it administered well after the kid is finally born- like, eighteen years. Also, I will not be sending text messages after I have begun the labor process. That's just craziness! I received two text messages from her while she was in the middle of all that, and I'm half-surprised that she didn't update her Facebook page during the ordeal. We are all way too connected these days.

I am super stoked to have a new baby in the family, though, and I am truly happy for my cousin. I won't be able to see little Zach Attack until Christmas, though, because Lisa lives in Virginia and is not coming "home" until the holidays. I will definitely have to make a big impression on this kid during our annual/semi-annual visits. I want him to know, and to always remember, that he's got a weirdo cousin/aunt-type-person in Illinois who's delirious with joy that he even exists.