cigarettes and red vines

tonight's the aimee mann concert- a little pre-birthday gift to myself from myself. i haven't splurged on concert tickets in over 2 1/2 years, since the infamous "coldplay at uic" incident. that was the night that i decided chris martin was one of the top twenty grossest men alive; being ten feet away from an overly sweaty dude with big globs of spit flying from his mouth can put you on a list like that. in three minutes flat.

my birthday is a week from today, and i have yet to make any plans. this perfectly illustrates why i'm so wary about this whole wedding business- i can't bring myself to make basic plans for a saturday night, so how am i supposed to go through with this marriage hullaballoo? plus, i'm on this huge money-saving kick. i set a monetary goal to have in our savings by april- 15k. we have 5k to go. that's $625 per month that we need to save, and so every penny counts. i know i can do it, it's just going to take a little bit of discipline. grocery shopping with me is a TON of fun these days.

speaking of my birthday, chris bought me part of my birthday gift this past week. the best part of getting a gift from chris is not the actual gift but how, after he's purchased it, he just cannot wait until the correct day to give it to me. i came home on wednesday, and he said, "i got you something for your birthday today." pause. "i can't give it to you until your birthday." pause. "do you want it now?"

"no, i can wait."

pause. "i'll just give it to you now." then he ran out to his car, got the gift, came into the apartment, and rummaged around in the closet until he found an old christmas gift bag. "here, jackie," he said proudly, extending the gift bag. "i got you this."

"but it's not even my birthday!"

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there are some people that you meet in passing that make a real impression on you. they strike you with their sweetness or humor or smile or eyes, and after they leave, you still feel happy to think of them. i had one customer that was like this, a woman about my mother's age. she was bone thin wearing a big baseball cap, and when she sat at my desk, there was something tender and sweet about her demeanor that stuck with me for a while. this past week, i learned she passed away from an unexpected heart attack. and it's so strange; i knew her for only fifteen minutes, but my own heart aches to think of it.