anna banana

you know who i really hate? anna quindlen. i don't necessarily have a good reason for disliking her; she just irritates me. whenever i see her column in "newsweek," i immediately get a bad taste in my mouth. i know she's a pulitzer prize winner and all, but there's just something about her that makes me feel like she's totally unqualified to be dispensing her famed "commonplace wisdom." what this quality is, i can't define, but i can say that when i saw her book, "a short guide to a happy life," i reflexively spat and ranted, "what the hell gives her the right to tell me how to have a happy life?" best-selling author or not, i don't feel comfortable having anna quindlen telling me to enjoy fireflies and quiet times with children. this could be due to a disastrous night back in '83 when a firefly swallowed my only child and then flew off into the stormy night sky.