the gall!

after we left the emergency room, and after chris had been diagnosed with a gallbladder disease, i stopped off at mcdonald's for breakfast. chris was sitting next to me clutching his directives for a low fat, bland diet, and there i am- the person who's supposed to be his support system- eating an egg mcmuffin and hashbrowns. "i'm sorry," i said as i stuffed the gooey egg and cheese into my mouth. "i'm just so hungry."

"that's okay," he said, his voice slurring a little from all the medicine. "i have a bran cereal at home."

he looked like hell, bandages on both of his arms from various i.v. needles and a hospital i.d. bracelet taped around his wrist. because we are a couple of sick fucks, we found his appearance not disturbing, but mildly amusing. his bedhead and filthy jeans just added to the comicalness. it also was because of this sick fuck mentality that we decided he should try to "save" his prescription vicodin for a time when neither of us needed it, but simply wanted it. you have to do something to while away those boring evenings.

all joking aside, i am seriously concerned for the cheese's well-being. however, since he's embarking on a low fat diet, can i really continue to call him "the cheese?" should i change his nickname to something less fatty, such as "the carrot" or "the legume?" maybe he can start calling me "the insensitive prick."

oh, how i love him, how i will learn to cook low-fat meals for him and eat my fast food burgers and extra cheesey-cheese fries (with ranch dressing) in the bathroom when he's home, under the ruse of taking a shower so that he doesn't have to look at me enjoying myself with those tasty fat grams. for him, i can make that sacrifice. for him, i will eat chicken nuggets while sitting on the lidded toilet seat while the room steams up with hot shower water. this is what a relationship is all about. that, and sharing the prescription meds.

i apologize in advance. and i come across much more crass than i really am.




can you find the duodenum in this picture?