i had a dream that i was president of the "twice as much" company. here's how my products worked: they were like your regular, everyday products, but you could derive "twice as much" out of them. a "twice as much" book, for example, would be like a regular book, but you would get "twice as much" information out of them, or "twice as much" of a story in the same amount of pages. bear with me here. a "twice as much" apple would leave you twice as full as a regular apple; a "twice as much" gym shoe would enable you to run twice as fast. "twice as much" shampoo would mean that you could shampoo one day and then not have to worry about washing your hair again for twice as long as you normally would. oh, my products were absolutely wonderful, and i was revered across the land.

i woke up with my alarm ringing, wondering why i was so tired. i thought to myself, "aren't i sleeping on 'twice as much' sheets? shouldn't i have received twice the amount of sleep and restfulness as i would have in a normal night?" perplexed, it took my several slappings of the snooze button to realize that my "twice as much" sheets did not really exist, and, no, i was not the president of any company, much less a company that would probably pay me.... you got it, twice as much.