and now the question that has plagued man for ages: did tennessee what arkansas?

it took ten hours to get there and ten hours to get back.  we were there for a day and a half.  a highlight of that day and a half is when chris and i decided to go canoeing.  we should have known it was doomed from the start; we managed to get out to the middle of the lake, and then we just floated around in a circle for a bit, unable to paddle our way back due to a strong current and also the fact that i have twig-like arms that aren't used to any brand of physical exertion- be it paddling or tennis or having to hold the remote control for an extended period of time.  round and round we went; i imagined that the rest of our lives would have to unfold on this canoe.  one end of the canoe would be for us, the other end for our children.  it wouldn't be the biggest home, but it would be our home, minus walls and a door.

and a ceiling.

and electricity.

oh, and a mailbox. 

fuck, it would be the crappiest home ever.  i'd rather live locked under the kitchen sink with whoopi goldberg.  and you know how i feel about whoopi goldberg.

we managed to row our way back after some time; his family had gathered on the beach and were yelling for us to hurry up.  pictures were about to be taken, and it was of the utmost importance that chris' italian fiancee be caught on film standing amongst all the pale germans.  our canoe picked up speed, rocketed ahead, and, with a crowd of people standing on the beach watching, the damn boat slammed right into the dock.  calmly, chris called back to me, "paddle backwards," and suddenly i was reminded of my first time parrallel parking in the city, which is also the same story that leads to my first nervous breakdown.  i'll tell that on another day.

anyhow, it was fun.  a lowlight of the trip was having to share a room with chris' aunt, who is a wonderfully nice lady with a horribly awful snoring problem.  i was tempted to suffocate her on saturday night, and i might have, too, if i didn't think i'd be prosecuted in a court of law.  also, the whole weekend was about me trying to get in good with chris' family; killing his father's only sister probably wouldn't be the best way to go about that.

i did not return with any form of chiggers, for which i am happy.