i am intrigued by other girls. i like to analyze what makes them pretty or desirable, and i enjoy wondering what, exactly, it is that makes them attractive, or unattractive, to those around them. i am quick to criticize, but i add up their positive attributes just as rapidly. it's like a mental inventory: sally has long legs, a nice laugh, and knows a lot about how the credit industry works. on the down side, she cakes on the make-up, is as funny as a pile of kindling, and appears to have lopsided boobies.

janet has silky hair, a masters degree in painting, and is very kindhearted towards animals. unfortunately, she has crossed eyes, reproachable posture, and doesn't know how to spell "boat."

mavis is slender, intelligent, and sings like aretha franklin. too bad she smells of fish, tends to boss around the elderly, and is stuck with the name "mavis."

you see how it works.

i know i'm not the only person who does this. guys check out other guys, and, probably more so, girls check out other girls. it's all in the circle of life: our observations of survival of the fittest, natural selection. also, we want to know where girl a got her shoes from, and the name of her manicurist.

i wonder what somebody would say about jackie.

jackie is smart, funny, and all around fantastic. it's a shame, however, that she's flat as a board, consistently whining, and is often caught staring rather openly at other women.